Things That I Find in My Mailbox

Things That I Find in My Mailbox…I really hope this becomes a series as we barrel into the holiday season.

I do what I consider to be an average amount of online shopping and I understand that companies sell their mailing lists to one another in hopes of gaining new customers.  I have a marketing degree and I understand the value of direct mail.

What I do not understand, however, is the level of ridiculousness that has recently begun to bombard my mailbox.    Starting in late October I began receiving at least 3 “holiday” catalogs each day from unknown mail-order companies.

As if checking the mail isn’t exciting enough, flipping through this absurdity has become a daily ritual of mine.  It’s like getting a glimpse into an alternate universe.  Who are the people who design, produce and sell these products?  And more importantly, who buys this stuff??

Like I said, I hope to be back with more little golden nuggets of entertainment, but for now I give you the first installment of “Things That I Find in My Mailbox”…….

This first little gem is the item that caught my eye and alerted me to the fact that things have reached an all-new level of hilarity.  The Power Nap Head Pillow:


$99.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer.  They claim to be “America’s longest running catalog offering the best, the only and the unexpected for 165 years.”  I’d say they nailed the tag-line.

I have so many questions about this product including:
Why? How? This can’t be serious? Who is this sad aspiring model? and What if I actually saw someone using this?!?
But the truth is…I kind of want one!
What this says about our society: We are so overworked and strung out that sleep may become more important than personal dignity.
I ordered some children’s clothing from a British company and now I get at least 4 British catalogs each month. Joules was new this month and for some reason the underwear page caught my eye.
First of all the underwear page says “Crown Joules.”  Awesome play on words–especially for a British company.  Secondly, I’m not sure if you can read the fine print in this picture but the name of one of the Christmas patterns is “Deck your Balls.”  wow.
What this says about our society: I don’t know what it says about our society but it definitely earns even more cool points for the Brits.
Next up is the Anteater Bug Vacuum:

$29.95 from Young Explorers.  This product “allows young entomologists to quickly and safely collect live insects to observe, then release back to nature.”

Their tag line is “Creative Educational Products.” I’ve got something creative and educational for kids to use for examining bugs…THEIR HANDS!
What this says about our society: We are raising a bunch of sissy nerds! 


And finally, I give you the “Just for Fun Ornament Collection” where along with traditional sports and hobby ornaments, they offer “TV Watcher,” “Smart Phone,” and “Fantasy Football”


Brought to you by Personal…Unique Personalized Gifts for Life’s Special Occasions.
‘Special Occasions’ like watching TV, playing on your phone or managing your fantasy team.

 What this says about our society: We are becoming so unapologetic about our lazy hobbies and habits that we are actually celebrating them in the form of Christmas ornaments.  
I’m pretty sure this also happened prior to the collapse of all of the Classical Empires.

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